Communication and Early Years !
Before you start reading this, let me make a guess! My sentences have caught the eye of one of the following — a mother, a nanny, a child care assistant, a playgroup manager, a kindergarten caretaker or definitely someone close to them. In any role, half of your job is already done as you landed on this page. Wondering why? Because you already understand the importance of communication and ready to start a communicative way of fostering (Take my words; it’s an investment which reaps predictable {if not sweet} fruits later).
Remember the time when you named that little bundle of cuteness or met him/her asking how to address. It started there only. Communication brought identity, recognition and convenience. But, what next?
The upcoming phase not only comprises of a lesson on calling a Banana — a Banana or a rhinoceros — a rhinoceros or a few adjustments here and there considering the singulars and plurals. Surpassing that, it starts building foundation of comfort, trust, reliability, mental peace, belongingness your child associates with you. Let me share answers (which I concluded after careful observation of children developed in different environments) of some ‘WHYs’ of yours:
- WHY communication builds child’s behavior
Communication here is an exchange of thought with the child and it has a second part as well on which we shall come in a few seconds. When a thought is exchanged with raw brain of a child, he considers it universal. Options, categories, perceptions, contradictions do not mean anything to him which we, as adults understand as we grow. Let’s take an instance where it is scorching heat outside and your child wants to go out. You would try convincing him by saying — “No, we won’t go outside”. Someone else, little strict would be like — “I told you there’s no need to go out, look how hot it is”. The attention span of child is so less that he would be busy with his toys next minute. But whenever he is going outside next time, he wouldn’t know the reason. So, the need was to tell him — Going outside is forbidden because of heats or winters or winds but when it is pleasant, we should go outside. A detail helps children build perspective from their childhood only. Hence, careful choice of words at first hand should be your focus and if you miss first chance, an even careful come back is the key to success here. However, it not only comprises the words or phrases exchanged with a child and here I bring to you the second part — Surroundings. 15% of the communication retained by a child is what you preach and 85% is what he or she observes ever since the 6th month anniversary. If you as a couple is speaking cats and dogs between yourself and ensuring you don’t take this to your toddler, remember your child won’t remember rabbits or peacocks. What to take — Careful use of words (with child and between yourself).
- WHY communication about small things is important
Issues become trivial or important to anybody with age, understanding and exposure. For your child, only those things hold importance which he or she can understand, certainly the ones with which you could relate only as a child. But, small things for your child will always be small things until a stage comes when these would become big things for you as a guardian. If at the age of six, your child tells you that he painted the Spiderman blue and you listened to it with a smile only, don’t compare later when there’s a mess in his life and he tries to sort that on his own. Build the foundation for those communications by giving equal ear to the small communications as well. Your child would consider you as an ideal partner to discuss things important or even unimportant to him or her and if this happens, you have won as a parent. What to take — Give ear to your kid.
- WHY your communication needs to be effective
Ineffective communications are never welcoming whether they are personal or professional. Professional surroundings are a different scenario but personal communications if go ineffective, have a long lasting undesirable impact. Remember when your child brings something up to you, he or she needs a solution even if it is about engaging in an argument with a fellow mate. An answer to his queries is what he expects and it’s your responsibility to either give that answer or help him reach it. Leaving the topic, not considering it important or any other work excuse leads to the thought — Next time, there is no point bringing it to parents. What to take — Provide a solution to your child’s issue.
- WHY communication needs understanding
Communications which lack understanding are not actually communications. They are just exchange of harsh words to bring an undesirable environment. As a parent, this is challenging because a child is less understanding by default. Does this mean you always agree to your child’s decisions? No. Parents or guardians never do that and here comes understanding. Whatever the matter is, you need to be in your child’s shoes. Your experiences, preaching, an effort to put your point is of no use unless you understand what your child wants at that time. Hence, try considering the point and if you have valid counter points which can convince your child, shoot them. A major check to be given to your tone because where there is understanding, there is no harshness. What to take — A desire to understand your kid’s desire.
Well, too much to take? If No, Awesome! If yes, parenting is a tough job and we need to be watchful with that. So, between happy cerelac making and story reading; it’s time to bring communication in.
